Octopus Invasion

April 16, 2020

 Everyone has their own opinions on the takeover of the human race. Whether it may be the extraterrestrial, apes, disease, jellyfish or butterflies someone will always favour one over the 

others. However, there may be one that might not have crossed your mind, something that has always been lurking around - alluring and ominous, waiting for their evolution. Heard of it? Of course not. It is hereby that I declare that the potential lifeforms to overtake us homo-sapiens is the one and the only Cephalopod, known as the octopus.

 

Octopuses (yes that is the plural - not octopi) are one of the most badass creatures of the big blue sea. But not just the sea, they move on land too. They are the stealth masters, basically the underwater CIA. They can camouflage like a chameleon by changing colour and texture to match their environmental surroundings. One species known as the Mimic Octopus can eve change its shape and actions to act or ‘mimic’ other marine animals… and maybe even us as well. Octo-dudes can even hide in the smallest of places. How? They have no bones or spine, AKA squishy, and can fold themselves into tight spaces. Their only hard bit is the tiny beak around their mouths and they can squeeze through any gap that is larger than it. We’re talking about gaps no bigger than the size of your eyeball. Endless possibilities of escape routes for these guys. Imagine where they would pop up as they wriggle themselves up through our pipelines. What if you’re brushing your teeth on one peaceful morning when all of a sudden, BAM! A slimy arm slithers up from your sink and latches onto your face. As you struggle to break free, another one loops around your arms leaving you defenceless and forced to feel its wrath.

 

Another wicked thing about octopuses is that these guys are super intelligent. They have a total of nine brains! There is one central brain which controls the nervous system, but two-thirds of their nerve endings are found in their eight arms. This means that every arm has a mind of its own and can move independently or together before the message reaches the centre brain. Arms will even continue to move and search for food when separated from the main body. That’s exactly like something out of a horror film. With this amount of brainpower, they definitely show signs of great intelligence. Octopuses have been recorded to open child-proof jars, shells and other items not only with their brute strength but with debris to act as tools as well. Guys, they are out there using driftwood spears! Scientists have done many studies on these gooey specimens and it has been shown that they can remember and navigate their way through mazes. They learn how to adapt and overcome their environment on a level way beyond any other cephalopods. Also, because I find this fact cool, they have blue blood (copper-based) - you’re welcome.

 

Imagine the evolution of the octopus, us humans would not be ready! First, they will take over the ocean, using tools and weapons and formulating hardcore strategies to take down even the most ferocious sea creatures. I wouldn’t be surprised if they started capturing and riding sharks. Once they’ve conquered the deep blue, they will then advanced onto land permanently, wailing their shell-like spears and kelpy slingshots in each of their eight arms. Dragging themselves along our cities at night and swimming through the sewer systems at day they will quietly hide and observe us, educating their nine brains on everyday human life. Slowly they will attack through the waterways, assassinating us in the safest of places like the showers and toilets; where we are at our most vulnerable. Finally, using the mimic technique, they will morph their bodies to look like our bipedal selves. As they're living amongst us and noticing how to exactly outsmart us, they’ll beat us at our own game. Octopuses will find their way into our military and government, providing themselves with access to our greatest weapons. Leaders will be overthrown and cities under new control. As the population of humans decrease the numbers of the octopus will only continue to rise. The most epic battle will commence and the city walls will be painted purple. But realistically, before we could even have time to blink, we would be subjected to their awesomeness. They will become masters of all; land and sea. Planet Octopearth.

 

As you can see, the octopus is not one to be underestimated. They are one of the most spectacular sea creatures out there that have the most potential to invade humankind. You might even say they are the aliens just waiting for the perfect time to strike. But let’s not let this fill us with fear, the octopus is a true marvel and we are lucky enough to observe its nature. Let’s use the time we have now to enjoy and fascinate ourselves over one of the wonders of our underwater world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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